The SEAL’s Pregnant Ex (The Admiral’s SEALs Book 3) Read online

  She knew Alex would be there financially even if he was deployed. He had far too much integrity and honor not to help support his son, but she needed her independence as well. Financial independence was important. Another lesson from her mother. She guessed that if the women in her family were going to be cursed, they’d better be self-sufficient.

  Soledad responded to the latest comments before turning her attention to actively job hunting. She’d looked around a little in the past week, but not seriously. Today, she was a woman on a mission. She found a few jobs that looked promising and submitted her resume online. Both places were hiring immediately. She glanced toward the portable crib. A job would mean she’d need someone to look after Luke, so she searched for childcare next. The retail jobs that matched her qualifications would involve evening and weekend hours, which complicated day care, but she found two women who watched children in their homes and claimed to offer flexible hours. She sent preliminary inquiries to both before closing her laptop.

  “There,” she murmured. “One step closer to being independent again.”

  She cringed inside despite her words. She didn’t like the idea of leaving her baby with a stranger. What if Luke cried for her? What if he got sick? A thousand scenarios flashed through her mind in which Luke needed her to keep him safe.

  She had to stop that train of thought. Other women left their babies and returned to work, and she could, too. She wasn’t going to have a choice. Alex wasn’t going to be around forever, and she couldn’t depend on his hospitality, either. Job first, she told herself, and then a place to live.

  And she was going to have to resist her feelings for Alex. That was the hardest part. She loved him. She couldn’t help it, and with Luke, she felt such a connection to him that it was a constant tug on her heart. The low-simmering anger and tension she’d maintained after their kiss helped her to build a dam to contain her emotions, but it wouldn’t hold. She could stick her finger in the dike as much as she wanted. Water always won, and her attachment to him poured out, threatening to drown her. For her own sake she had to rise to the surface and keep swimming.

  And that meant moving on with her life.

  She kept busy with baby laundry and writing belated thank-you notes for gifts until she heard his truck door close in the driveway. He entered through the front door, juggling bags in his hands as he rearmed the security system. One bag caught her eye. It was a pink-striped one she recognized from Liberté Patisserie. The French bakery downtown created her favorite treats, ones she hadn’t allowed herself for months because of the cost.

  Alex never voluntarily went there, because he hated trying to pronounce the names of the pastries. During their relationship, he’d refused to walk in the door of the bakery, much less order something.

  “Is that…?” She nodded to the bag.

  “It is.” He held it up and grinned at her. Her resolve to resist him, to move on with her life, took a hit. He’d braved saying pain au chocolat or religieuse for her. That was an expression of his feelings toward her, wasn’t it? And she could almost taste the delicate, buttery pastry and rich, dark chocolate of the pain au chocolat and the hazelnut-and-chocolate cream of the religieuse. They were so delicious.

  He left the other items he brought in at the door and came toward her with the pink bag. He held it up, swinging it back and forth as if taunting her with it. She reached for it, but he yanked it back, still grinning, before relenting and placing it in her hands.

  “Thanks,” she said when he gave it to her. “That was really sweet of you.” She peeked into the small box at the bottom of the bag. He hadn’t forgotten what she liked. Her two favorites were nestled side by side. Heavenly.

  “Just a simple thanks?” he asked, his grin disappearing. “I embarrassed myself trying to pronounce those tongue-twister names until the woman behind the counter took pity on me and let me point. I know they laughed at me after I left.” Alex was pretending to sound serious, but it was just an act, she could tell. “I think I deserve more than a thanks.”

  She guessed what he had in mind by the expression on his face. It was a tempting idea, but not a good one.

  “I suppose you can have a kiss,” she said, recognizing that she was crossing into dangerous territory and doing it anyway. She could control the moment, though, by kissing his cheek. That would be the smart thing to do. Unfortunately, she wasn’t feeling particularly smart when it came to him. She bit her lower lip in anticipation, noticing that his eyes tracked to her mouth.

  Cheek only, she insisted to herself. And she meant to kiss him there, she really did, but when he turned his head, putting their lips in alignment, she didn’t hold back.

  His kiss was soft and perfect, like a really great first-date kiss. But they were well past first-date status, and it felt so good, so right. He lifted his head, giving her the opportunity to back away. Nope. She moved closer and wrapped her arms around his shoulders before placing her hands on the back of his neck, liking the feel of his warm skin and short hair. He raised a questioning eyebrow at her, but everything about his body language was welcoming, making her angle closer to him.

  She let a beat play out as he seemed to wait for her next move. And then she kissed him fully. Her lips met his, and nothing else mattered. How had she thought she didn’t want this? How had she thought she’d be okay without it? Because she wouldn’t be.

  He let her deepen the kiss. When her mouth opened to him and her tongue teased his, he responded, but he didn’t try to control it. He met her stroke for stroke, tasting and arousing. His hands were low on her waist, his fingers rubbing over her hipbones while he pulled them tighter together. She could have melted into him. She thought she was melting, becoming liquid desire, his mouth far more delectable than the pastries she’d been fantasizing about moments earlier.

  Her fingers were under the edge of his shirt when Luke cried from across the room. She stilled, willing the baby to go back to sleep, even as she knew he wouldn’t.

  “He’s hungry,” she murmured against Alex’s lips. She rested her forehead against his for a second, not wanting this moment of intimacy to end. But the cries grew louder, more demanding, so she stepped away from Alex and went to their son.

  Luke quieted as soon as she picked him up. His bright blue eyes stared at her. What did he see? His mom with a blush on her cheeks and kiss-swollen lips? Alex came up behind her, slipping one arm around her and another around Luke. The three of them stood together in the perfect family image. She’d been delusional earlier, trying to talk herself out of wanting this. She wanted this life with Alex, even if it was only for now.

  That could be enough, couldn’t it? It could sustain her through the years ahead.

  “I’ll change his diaper and take my time so you can eat one of those fancy-pants pastries.” He took Luke from her and blew raspberries on the baby’s belly to make him happy as they climbed the steps.

  Soledad reached for the discarded bag, selecting the pain au chocolat and biting into it. The pastry was delicious, just as she remembered. She closed her eyes to relish it, but all she could think of was the kiss. It had been twice as wonderful as any confection could be. If Luke hadn’t woken, where would it have gone?

  She knew the answer to that. Straight to the bedroom. And she wasn’t going to apologize for that, not to Alex and not to herself.

  When Alex returned with Luke, she fed the baby as Alex moved about the house, putting away the groceries he’d purchased and keeping busy with other tasks. He was anxious, pacing like a caged tiger. The hot, predatory look he gave her when he reentered the living room said it all. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.

  But there was a baby between them. No, not between. Their child had brought them back together. She looked down at Luke, who batted his thick eyelashes at her. He was definitely a heartbreaker in the making.

  “Let me take him,” Alex offered as soon as she finished feeding Luke. Alex continued pacing with the baby on his shoulder, showing him
the shiny glint of a crystal in the front window and the whirling of the ceiling fan’s blades, anything to entertain him.

  Soledad tried to turn her attention to her blog, but hot-air balloons weren’t enough to keep her mind from Alex’s kiss and what might—would—have happened if Luke hadn’t taken that moment to wake up. She forced herself to add content and respond to another message while her thoughts whirled, focused on Alex. Alex snoozing in the shaded backyard, Alex expecting a kiss in exchange for the pastries, Alex playing with their son as he was now. It was impossible not to remember the nights they’d spent together. God, how she wanted that again. Was it hers for the asking?

  After what seemed like forever, Alex tapped her on the shoulder, silently indicating that Luke was asleep. Instead of placing him in the portable crib, Alex climbed the stairs with him. She heard footsteps overhead as Alex settled Luke in his room. Odd choice for three in the afternoon.

  Unless…

  Unless Alex planned to be upstairs, too. With her. In the master bedroom across the hall from Luke’s room. She couldn’t be sure of his intentions, but what if she met him in the hall between the rooms?

  She kicked off her flip-flops by the front door and quietly went up the stairs barefoot, getting to the landing just as Alex closed Luke’s door. Their eyes met, complete understanding passing between them in a second. They both wanted this. And what was the harm?

  “I’ve never wanted him to sleep so much,” Alex said, reaching for her and leaving her no doubt of his plans. His warm hands went around her waist, and he hauled her against him.

  She suppressed a nervous giggle as she put her arms around his neck and let herself sink into another kiss. It started out gentle, nipping and teasing, but escalated quickly to something as hot as a summer’s afternoon. They both came up gasping for air, but Alex was relentless, delightfully so, when he started another mind-blowing kiss.

  Slowly, as his mouth worked over hers, he backed her into the master bedroom she’d been using since she came to live in his house.

  “I haven’t been in here in a while,” he murmured against her lips.

  “You were welcome to join me,” she said as her legs bumped the bed. She’d lain there many nights thinking about him, wishing he was there with her.

  “Was I?” he asked. His lips trailed down her neck and coasted along her collarbone, making her rational thoughts scatter. “I didn’t think so.”

  “If you do that, you’ll always be welcome,” she said, arching into him to let him know how much she enjoyed it.

  “I’ve been thinking about kissing you here.” He nipped at the base of her throat. “And here.” He nibbled on her earlobe. “And so many other places.”

  She laughed. “I’d like you to list all of them, but first I want this off.” She plucked at his T-shirt.

  “Done.” He whipped it over his head and tossed it aside. “Now, you.” His hands were under the edge of her tank top, working it up as his palms slid up her stomach and over her breasts. Her shirt joined his on the floor.

  “I’ve wanted to touch you,” she said, taking full advantage of the opportunity to run her hands over his chest.

  “Touch away,” he invited. “I’m done resisting the pull between us.”

  She raised an eyebrow at him. “Resisting?”

  “Yeah.” He grinned at her. “I can’t fight it anymore. This might not be smart, you know.”

  “Maybe.” She was doing it anyway, because having him for now was better than not having him ever. She could cling to that thought. Easily, she decided, when he unfastened her bra. She’d always been small-breasted with a lean torso. Since her pregnancy her figure was a little fuller, more curvy. He cupped her breasts in his hands.

  “They’re bigger,” she said, feeling almost shy.

  “I know. I like it,” he said, kissing along the top curve of one breast and into the valley between them.

  It felt so damn good to have him close, to have his mouth and hands on her. She couldn’t help the contented sigh that escaped her. Then, suddenly, she wasn’t content at all. She wanted more of him, so she tugged on the button fly of his jeans, a silent demand for them to be off him.

  He chuckled low in his throat at her impatience and pressed his lower body against hers, trapping her hand between them.

  “You said I could touch,” she argued, moving her fingers enough to feel the hard outline of his erection through his jeans.

  “So I did.” He gave her enough space to undo the other buttons. That done, she pushed the jeans and his boxers down his legs. He kicked them off, his eyes focusing on hers. He was naked and hers. She felt a hot, wet rush between her thighs.

  She placed her hand flat on his chest, rubbing her palm over his nipples before following the line of dark hair down his stomach to his dick. She stroked the length of it, flicked her thumb over the slit on the head, and did it again. And again. His head tilted back, a deep groan coming from him as pleasure played across his face. She was considering dropping to her knees to take him with her mouth when his eyes flashed open.

  He moved quickly, decisively, lifting her off her feet and placing her in the middle of the bed. Her running shorts disappeared a second later, banished to the floor with the rest of their clothing. He claimed her mouth first, kissing her deeply, his tongue swiping against her teeth, playing with her tongue. She wrapped her legs around his, feeling his erection against her belly and wanting it inside her. But not yet. Alex appeared to have other plans.

  He broke the kiss to start a slow exploration of her body, as if he was reacquainting himself with every inch of flesh, every curve. His lips left trails of heat over her breasts and across her stomach. So good. He moved lower on her and kissed the inside of each thigh, blowing a warm breath across her clit but not quite touching that sensitive part of her. She arched up, trying to bring his lips in contact with her body, but he resisted.

  “Hey,” she murmured.

  “Soon,” he said, rising back over her to kiss her lips, her cheeks, her forehead.

  “Tease,” she said, as she pressed her fingers into the hard muscles of his butt.

  “That’s me,” he agreed with a soft laugh. Seconds later, his hand touched her between her thighs, stroking over her and almost sending her into an orgasm. “Jesus, you’re so hot and wet.” His voice was a reverent whisper now.

  “And you’re hard.” She clasped his dick again, making him gasp. “I think I remember what comes next.” She smiled up at him. “The condoms are still in the nightstand drawer.”

  They’d always been careful about sex. Except for that one time nearly a year ago. She couldn’t regret that, but neither of them was ready for another child. With his long reach, Alex opened the top drawer and pulled out a packet. She took it from him, yanked open the foil, and rolled the condom onto his hard length. Her body tightened in anticipation of what came next.

  “How?” she asked, knowing he would understand her question. How did he want her?

  “So I can see your face,” he answered, starting another kiss and shifting his hips to enter her. He eased into her, taking her inch by inch, not letting her rush the moment. She hooked her legs around his waist, tilting up to him, but still he controlled the movement. She’d thought she’d die with frustration, but then he started a rhythm of give and take, deep and shallow strokes, until she was panting for release.

  “More,” she demanded, almost too breathless to speak.

  He shifted the angle between them, changed the rhythm, and she felt herself fly apart, felt everything in her scatter and contract at the same time, and then the pleasure rolled through her. With one more stroke, she felt Alex shudder with his release. He lowered himself on her so their bodies connected completely.

  “Christ, Soledad, that was amazing,” he whispered, his head buried against the curve of her shoulder.

  Exactly how she felt. Bone deep, she knew that this was how they were meant to be.

  9

  Soledad woke early
and stretched, feeling simultaneously guilty and grateful for how well rested she was now that she and Alex had been sharing a bed for a week. When Luke had become fussy around midnight, Alex had cared for him. From the bedroom, she’d heard Alex’s soft footfalls and soothing words as he calmed the crying baby. She’d gotten up once, offering assistance, but Alex had waved her away with a smile, telling her to get some rest.

  She had, falling into a deep and dreamless sleep. That may have had something to do with her general state of contentment. Somehow, Alex was an even better lover than she remembered, and she wondered how that could be. Their lovemaking was more tender, more intimate, but just as sexy as it had ever been.

  She studied Alex, who was now asleep on his side, his back to her. The sheet was pushed down to his waist, so she could see the sleek contours of his body, the width of his shoulders and the narrowness of his lean hips. Beneath the sheet, she knew, were long, muscular legs. His body was rock hard and gorgeous. He’d lost none of his physical fitness in the months he’d been home.

  Reconnecting with him as more than co-parents had brought easy smiles to her face and a sense of happiness that she’d thought was no longer possible. It might be temporary, but, God, it was so good being with Alex again, letting herself touch him whenever she wanted.

  She reached out a hand to stroke his back but stopped herself when her fingers were just inches away. As much as she craved the feel of his warm skin and the attention he would surely give her, she should let him rest after the long night of caring for Luke.

  She withdrew her hand and slid out of bed, careful not to disturb Alex. She padded quietly across the hall to check on Luke. The baby was out and probably would be for a while yet. He’d had a few similar nights, and they’d left him zonked the following day. She glanced out the window to where sunlight flooded the backyard. The golden light of just past dawn, her favorite time of day, had always drawn her out for a morning run in the past.