Cowboy's Unexpected Family (Thorne Ranch Brothers Book 1) Read online

  With her at his side, they could manage…but only if she was willing.

  He called her late that night to set up a date for the following evening. They’d ride out, have a sunset picnic, and come home by moonlight. Nothing more romantic that that.

  But he was nervous, and he carried those nerves with him until he arrived at the ranch the next day. He parked in front of the house and went up the steps. He rapped on the door, but no one answered, so he let himself in and headed for the kitchen. Voices reached him before he turned the last corner. He stilled when he heard his name.

  “I’m so glad to have met Cal,” Laura’s voice said, “but it’ll be easier when he goes. He’s…he’s so much like Luke. It shocks me every time I see him.”

  The words hit him with force. Laura continued to see him as just a copy of Luke?

  “And I know Jake finds it tough to be around him,” Laura continued speaking. “Brian doesn’t say much, but I can see that Jake is suffering. He won’t talk about it, of course, but the pain is in his eyes. Oh, Amy, knowing Cal is such a mixed blessing.”

  Cal could picture the scene. Laura distraught, Amy trying to comfort her. Both of them hurting, because of him. Had he only brought pain to his newfound family? Christ. Cal had felt that he and Jake connected. They had a lot of common interests, could talk with each other easily whether they were looking over a horse or sharing some beers. They weren’t brothers yet with all the history that entailed, but there was friendship—or at least, he had thought there was.

  “I’m sorry, Laura.” It was Amy’s voice now. “I never meant to bring you pain by introducing Cal to the family. I hope you know that.”

  “Oh, I do,” Laura said, “and it helps me to know that my first born is a good man who was raised by good people. I’ve thought about him so many times over the years.” If you could hear tears in a voice, Cal heard them in Laura’s. “But the reality of having him here is almost too much.”

  “I expect that he won’t be around much longer,” Amy said, “and then everything will return to normal.”

  They were waiting for Cal to leave the area. Laura and Amy’s conversation made that clear. He believed that Amy saw and valued him as his own man, but the others? Apparently not. He’d been a complication in his family’s life, a reminder of what they’d lost, the precious son and brother. From what he’d seen, their grief was a long way from being over. What did he do now? Slink off? Tell Amy it was over between them and break all ties with the Thornes?

  He didn’t want to do either of those things, and he especially didn’t want to leave Amy behind. As he quietly retreated to the porch, he tried to decide what he should do. Amy cared for him. He was damn sure of that. He didn’t know how much, but there was something between them and he didn’t want to just let it die.

  Standing on the porch, he looked around the ranch and tried to think through his next step. The entire evening was planned. What if he went through with it and put himself out there to her? They’d take the romantic ride and he’d ask her to go away with him. Staying in Darby Crossing part time clearly wasn’t an option—not when it was so upsetting to the Thornes—but there was still a chance that he’d be able to convince her to go on the road with him. Considering what he’d just overheard, he saw that as the only possibility for him and Amy to be together.

  This time when he knocked on the door, he called out in a loud voice. “Anyone home?”

  “Be right there.” Just hearing the welcome in Amy’s voice helped. A second later, she was smiling at him as she opened the door. “Hi.” Her voice softened. With a glance around to make sure they were alone, she kissed him.

  Hope lightened his heart.

  14

  “You good?” Cal asked when they were an hour into their ride.

  “Doing fine.” Amy smiled at him. She hadn’t been on a long trail ride since before Luke’s death, and she wondered why now. She liked being in the saddle and exploring the terrain. They’d left the ranch and headed west along the river. The bright green leaves of spring showed on trees and the air was cool against her face.

  “It’s not much farther.” Cal rode close enough to her that their legs bumped. He seemed so relaxed and confident riding, but she could tell that there was something going on with him. He was studying her almost too closely.

  Maybe he was worried about the same thing she was. She wished their future wasn’t so nebulous, wished there was an easy way for them to be together, but she couldn’t see it. Could he? Was that why he brought her out here—because he wanted to have that conversation? She’d been putting it off for days now, knowing that they needed to discuss their relationship like adults but chickening out each time there was an opportunity to speak about it.

  And this ride was no different. It was so sweet, so perfect that she didn’t want to ruin it by bringing up a difficult topic. She wanted to stay happy for just a little longer.

  “That’s lovely,” she exclaimed when they rounded a bend in the river. A cliff rose on one side, but on the other a meadow lush with grass spread out. Near the river, someone had dug a firepit and built wooden benches situated to take advantage of the view.

  “I think this is the place,” Cal said, swinging out of the saddle. “Rafael wasn’t kidding when he described it. Let me help you down.”

  Amy didn’t need help, but she was happy to have Cal’s hands on her guiding to the ground. She turned in his arms and pressed her face to his chest, just enjoying the moment.

  “Nice to really be alone,” Cal said as his hands stroked her back. “Let me take care of the horses and get a fire started.”

  Amy set to work unpacking the picnic dinner, pausing every few minutes to look at the way the light played on the cliff wall and reflected off the river. It was so beautiful here. She caught Cal’s eye. Was he thinking the same thing? Seemed to be.

  “The warmth feels good,” she said once he had the fire roaring.

  “Might be chilly on the ride back,” he said.

  “I’ve got extra layers in my saddlebags, or we could stop as needed so you could find another way to warm me up.” She flashed him a grin.

  “I like the sound of that.” His grin matched hers as he pulled her to him for a kiss. He drew back after a minute. “I believe I promised you a picnic.”

  They settled on one of the benches to eat, talking while they did about Henry and their families, keeping the conversation light.

  When the meal was over, Cal put his arm around her and pulled her tight against his body. “I’ve got something to say to you.” His tone was serious, making her tense slightly. “But first I want to kiss you again.”

  She didn’t bother to speak as she lifted her lips to his. The kiss was different than others they’d shared, more tender, more heartfelt. It made her want to weep and laugh at the same time.

  When it ended, he met her eyes. “I love you, Amy.”

  Any nerves she felt disappeared, replaced by a sense of openness. She wasn’t going to keep in her feelings either.

  “I love you, too,” she said, knowing it was true. Sometime in the past few weeks, she’d fallen head over heels for Cal.

  His smile was warm and instant. “I’m so glad you do.” He kissed her again, a long and lingering kiss. By the time it was over, the sun had gone down, and darkness was falling. No setting could have been more romantic for the moment. It had been perfect, and the thought made her sigh in happiness.

  “You’ll come with me when I go, then? Join me on the road? You and Henry?” Cal said, his face expectant in the firelight. “It’s not what you’re used to, but as long as we’re together, does it matter where?”

  “Go on the road?” she said. He wanted her to leave the ranch, leave Darby Crossing? Her heart sank, the happiness from a moment ago evaporating.

  “Yeah, it’s not a glamorous lifestyle, but you’ll get to see some amazing places,” he continued talking. “I’ll contact the network and let them know, so they can change my accommodations
.”

  He’s convinced I’ll agree, she thought. But she couldn’t, she just couldn’t, no matter how she felt about him.

  “Cal, I can’t raise a child on the road like that,” she said, willing him to understand. “Why can’t you stay here? You know about horses and ranching. You could find a job locally.” She knew everyone in the community. Someone would be happy to have his expertise.

  “I can’t do that,” he said. The raw declaration made her lean back to see his face better.

  “Why not?” she asked. She couldn’t believe he wasn’t even willing to try. Not even for her.

  “I left the circuit once, several years ago, to follow a woman.” He turned his face and gazed into the fire. “She wanted to settle down in a small town, and I agreed to it. But I was miserable from the beginning. Everything went wrong. I hated my job, and I didn’t seem to fit in with the locals. Then we started fighting and the relationship ended. I know myself, sweetheart.” His eyes came back to hers. “I’m not meant to stay in one place. I can’t stay. But that doesn’t mean you can’t come with me. Please just give it a chance. We could try it for six months.”

  Her heart told her to agree, her mind said that a trial seemed fair…but in her gut, she knew it wasn’t right. “I’m so sorry, Cal. Life on the road isn’t for me. I have a job I like here, and I love the Thornes. This place has been good to me. I can’t just abandon all that. And even if I could, what about Henry?”

  “Are you worried about school?” Cal asked. “Other parents manage it. They hire tutors or do schooling online.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not that. Henry is a Thorne. He deserves to be raised on the ranch. Luke wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.” She recognized her mistake instantly when Cal’s jaw tightened, and he looked away again. Cal didn’t want to hear about Luke, but she couldn’t ignore that he was her son’s father. “There must be some other way…”

  “We should head back.” Cal stood and walked toward the horses.

  Losing his warmth next to her sent an immediate chill through her. Knowing she might have lost him entirely froze her to the bone. But she couldn’t take back what she’d said. Resignedly, she rose to her feet and repacked the saddle bags.

  The trip back to the ranch should have been idyllic. Moonlight silvered the landscape, reflecting off the river and lighting their way. But all the romance and promise were gone from the night. Cal rode ahead of her, leading the way and frequently checking on her, but he said nothing. Maybe there was nothing left to say. Their lives had intersected in Darby Crossing, but they were never going to run together. An achy sadness started in her chest.

  She’d been fine before Cal had arrived in town. Content with her child, her job, her life. But now, the contentment was gone. She’d exchanged it for a few weeks of happiness with Cal. She watched his broad shoulders ahead of her and longed to put her arms around him, but what good would that do? There was no way forward for them.

  “You go on up to the house. It’s getting late,” he said when they were back at the barn. “I’ll take care of the horses.”

  “I’ll do my part,” she said, leading her mount inside and removing the saddle.

  She wanted to ask if he’d come to the house with her, but she knew what his answer would be. In his mind, it was over between them. She’d rejected him and that was it. He was blocking her out. Would he even hear her if she tried to explain? She glanced over to where he was working. He was so focused on his horse that he seemed oblivious to her.

  The way he was acting felt all too familiar. Luke had stopped listening to her, too. She’d dealt with it by leaning on the support of the rest of the family and the community. But she’d have none of that if she joined Cal and things stopped working between them. That was too much of a risk.

  With half a mind on her task, she rubbed the horse down and put off the inevitable. It was clear that what she had with Cal was over, but the rodeo was still ahead of them and they had to work together. Could they be professional enough to make that possible?

  She wished she could rewind to the moment he’d said that he loved her and stop the conversation from going any further, pretend that everything was fine between them for a few more days. But she couldn’t.

  She finished with her horse and walked to the stall where Cal worked. Leaning in the open door, she watched him. He was so strong and gentle with the animal. He was a good man, a better man than Luke in so many ways. That thought was almost enough to make her relent and say she’d go with him anywhere and they’d figure out the details together. It would never work, though, so it was best to make a clean break.

  “Cal,” she whispered and waited for him to look at her. “I’m sorry. I wish there were another way for us, but I don’t think there is.” Her voice cracked, but only a little.

  He nodded, apparently agreeing with her. And that hurt even worse for some reason.

  “About the rodeo…”

  “I can do the final promo events alone if that would be easier,” he said. They had the interview on Austin AM, and he was booked to compete in a rodeo about fifty miles away. They’d planned to go together to both to promote Darby Crossing’s rodeo. She’d been looking forward to them, but traveling together would be awkward now.

  “That’s probably best,” she said. “I should work on the final logistics for the rodeo here.” Doing the work wouldn’t reduce her hurt any since his name and image would be everywhere, but it would keep her mind occupied.

  “All right, then.” He put away the brushes he’d been using, and she stepped back so he could close the stall door.

  “Goodnight,” she said and turned to head for the barn door. Before she could take a step, he caught her arm and pulled her to him, crushing her in a hug. She couldn’t stop herself from returning it. And then he was kissing her, deep and fierce. It would have been wonderful if not for the sense that this was the final kiss between them. Oh, god, she was going to miss this, miss him. But neither of them could change their situation.

  She let the kiss go on, seeking comfort from it, until she finally made herself pull back. Unable to stop touching him entirely, she caressed his face for another few seconds before stepping back.

  “Goodbye, Amy,” he said, his voice husky.

  “Bye, Cal.” She turned and made her way to the house, forcing herself not to look back.

  15

  On the short walk to the house, Amy schooled her features into an impassive mask. As much as she wanted to run to her room, throw herself on the bed, and cry like a teenager, she wouldn’t. After Luke’s death, she’d become adept at suppressing her emotions, especially in front of the Thornes, focusing on trying to give comfort instead of taking it. The family had suffered enough without her adding to the burden. It was why she’d gone to another town to find a grief counselor.

  So she’d hold it together until she was alone for the night. She just had to hold on until then.

  She slipped into the house quietly, going to check on Henry who Laura had put to bed for her. He was sleeping soundly. Amy lingered with her son, drawing comfort from his sweet, innocent presence. After several minutes, she felt a little stronger, a little more in control of her emotions, so she kissed his forehead and went to the kitchen for a cup of tea before going to her room.

  She put the kettle on to boil and found a chamomile teabag. While she waited, she wiped down the already clean counters and stovetop. Anything to keep her mind from processing the full truth. Cal was out of her life forever. Her meaningless activity wasn’t enough of a distraction as she thought about what was gone from her life. No more nights curled in her bed with Cal, no more kisses or caresses, no more stories of the rodeo. A single sob broke from her before she clamped her hand over her mouth, but she couldn’t hold back the tears that flowed freely down her cheeks.

  She was no stranger to heartbreak, but this felt different. By the time Luke died, the good parts of her marriage had already been over. Her tears then had been because
a good man died far too young. But more than that, she’d cried because Henry lost his father and grandfather, Laura lost a son and husband, and the twins lost their brother and their dad both in the accident. That grief had been broad and overwhelming. This grief felt narrow and deep because it was exclusively hers, and the magnitude of what she’d personally lost was so great.

  She brewed the tea and added more sugar than she usually did as she struggled to get herself under control. This was Laura’s home, and Amy didn’t want to hurt or upset the family by revealing that she was grieving more for the end of her romance with Cal than she had for her own husband’s death. Stop crying, Amy told herself. No one has died. This isn’t a true tragedy.

  But no matter how many times she repeated the phrases, her thoughts returned to Cal and she couldn’t stanch the tears. She was on the verge of leaving the kitchen when she heard Jake and Laura talking as they came in from the courtyard. Amy didn’t have enough time to escape.

  “I didn’t know you were still…Oh sweetheart, what’s happened?” Laura came to her instantly and wrapped her in a tight hug. She made soft soothing sounds and her arms felt strong around Amy.

  Amy drew back from the hug and looked from her mother-in-law to Jake, who leaned against the island with his arms crossed over his chest, studying her. There was no fooling either one of them, she realized, and Amy was just too tired to invent a convincing lie, so she spoke the truth with complete bluntness. “I fell in love with Cal,” she paused to sniffle, “and he loves me back, but not enough to stay.”

  Jake’s eyes flared dark and he pushed off the counter and left the room. Amy’s heart broke a little more. Jake was probably hurt and angry that she could love someone other than Luke. She didn’t blame him for his reaction.

  “I’m sorry,” Amy whispered to Laura. “I didn’t want to—”

  “Ah, honey, don’t apologize to me for loving someone,” Laura said, surprising Amy. “Luke’s been gone four years, and you’re a young woman with your whole life ahead of you.” Despite her words, there were tears in Laura’s eyes, too. “Here, let’s go sit in front of the fire and talk.” Laura picked up Amy’s teacup and carried it with her into the living room. Not knowing what else to do, Amy trailed behind her and settled on the couch next to Laura.