The SEAL’s Beautiful Nanny (The Admiral’s SEALs Book 2) Page 9

  “Especially if they become movies,” Lily said. The theaters had been full of comic characters brought to life on the big screen. Lily hadn’t made it to the movies recently, but she tracked the industry nevertheless.

  “That’s the dream, isn’t it? Create something good enough that it catches a producer’s attention.” Aunt Maddie smiled wistfully.

  “I don’t understand why no one has made a bid for one of yours.” So many of her aunt’s creations would have made excellent movies. “Your work’s amazing.”

  “And I’ve made a good living from it. We’ll talk about the comic world later. Tell me about Sofia and what’s been going on with your life.”

  “She’s beautiful, smart, artistic, loving. I can’t believe how well adjusted she is, considering her past.” While they ate, Lily told her aunt about Sofia’s background and how Colin had adopted her after promising the girl’s mother he’d care for her. She found herself talking a great deal about Colin, too. Lily didn’t miss her aunt’s raised eyebrow. Maddie had questions about her relationship with Colin, Lily had no doubt, but she wasn’t quite willing to confess the depth of their connection because, in truth, it scared her.

  “So you’ve landed in a good place.” Her aunt repeated Lily’s words from earlier while they waited for dessert and coffee.

  “Definitely,” Lily agreed. Living in Colin’s house, being his lover, caring for Sofia fulfilled her in a way she hadn’t expected. She was still figuring out what she wanted, but she’d been surprisingly content in the past months.

  “I’m glad for you, and I don’t mean to tempt you away if you’ve found your passion, but I recently learned of an opportunity you might be interested in.” Aunt Maddie scooped up a spoonful of her chocolate mousse, allowing a moment of drama to play out.

  “What is it?” Lily was instantly alert.

  “A comic company I do some work for has a paid internship spot coming available in New York City. I mentioned that I might know someone who would be interested. I told them about you, and I think the position would be yours if you want it.”

  “Really?” This might be a dream come true. Lily leaned closer, almost sticking her sleeve in her lemon cake. “What else do you know about it?”

  “It’s essentially an assistant position,” Aunt Maddie cautioned. “You wouldn’t be creating or drawing anything. Instead, you’d be working with an established comic artist. Your tasks could range from coloring in his sketches to fetching coffee, I can’t say for sure—but it would be a foot in the door.”

  “That sounds great. When does it start?” Lily asked.

  Her aunt smiled. “They aren’t going to start the hiring process for about three weeks. I do think it would be a good chance to figure out if you want to be part of the comic world or not.”

  “What do you mean?” Of course Lily wanted to be part of it. That had been her dream for a long time—ever since she could remember, really. She’d buried it because of her parents’ disapproval… which meant she’d wasted years, a mistake she wouldn’t make again. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I love the life you lead. Here you are, flying off to talk comics for the weekend. How awesome is that?”

  “It is awesome. For me. But I don’t know that it’s your awesome.”

  Lily sat back in her chair, trying to make sense of her aunt’s attitude.

  “Listen, kiddo,” Aunt Maddie said. “Your parents are robots programmed to live the perfect life of prestigious academics. I mean no offense, because they’re brilliant people and I love them, but that’s the truth. You never fit into that life, not even when you were a little girl. You’ve struggled in the narrow confines they allowed you, and I get that you want to break out—but in order to do that, you have to find your own path. Comic books are mine, and I think you’ve always seen them as wonderful because they were the antithesis to everything your parents insisted on for you.”

  “Aunt Maddie—” Lily was confused by her aunt’s words.

  “Hear me out. I would be beyond delighted if you chose to become a comic artist like me—absolutely thrilled—but I don’t want you to get caught up in someone else’s dream. I don’t want you to be fascinated with the comic world because of the life I’ve led. Glamorous though it may be.” Her aunt chuckled and reached for Lily’s hand. “You’ve got to find your own way. It might be comics, but it might be something entirely different. Didn’t you say you were enjoying sculpture?”

  “I am.” Lily’s instructor insisted that she had great talent in that field, which was gratifying. “But comics have always been special to me.”

  “And perhaps they’re your future. You’ve got three weeks to think about it, so take your time coming to a decision. You don’t have to rush into anything.”

  “I won’t,” Lily promised, but she was already imagining herself working in a New York City studio. It would be such a change from her life as a teacher. She could never go back to living by the bell schedule, so she had to look forward—and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to do that.

  “I hate to eat and run,” her aunt said, checking the time on her phone, “but I’ve got to get back to the airport.”

  As they drove, they chatted about Aunt Maddie’s children and Lily’s siblings, catching up on as much as they could in the time they had. Lily dropped her aunt at the curb, gave her one last wave, and headed to Colin’s house, still floating on cloud nine. She couldn’t believe her luck.

  From watching her aunt’s career grow, Lily knew comic books were a competitive field. People thought that comic artists hung out in their pajamas and had it easy. Nothing could be further from the truth. It was a dog-eat-dog world, and having good connections could mean the difference between supporting herself on art and failing as so many aspiring artists had. Talent was essential, but who you knew in the industry was also key.

  Lily automatically made the turns to Silvan Street, her mind whirling with possibilities. When she parked in front of Colin’s white house marked with the butterfly stakes, a terrible wave of queasiness hit her, and she realized the magnitude of the decision she was contemplating. It wasn’t just about her.

  She’d have to leave Colin and Sofia to pursue this opportunity. She’d have to leave the life she’d made here. Her chest tightened as she tried to put order to her thoughts. She’d never intended being Sofia’s nanny to be more than a temporary job, a stopgap measure on her way to something greater. But that was before she came to love Sofia. The toddler was bright and warm, finding delight in everything.

  And then there was Colin. They’d come a long way from her first impression of him. He wasn’t uptight and rigid about rules, not even a little. She’d seen his funny, relaxed, loving side. She closed her eyes, hoping that would diminish the pain searing through her. It didn’t. Instead, all the moments she’d shared with him danced before her.

  Was she really ready to leave him? If she was honest with herself, she’d have to answer no. But the other side of her brain argued that this internship might be her best opportunity to get into the comic book world. How could she turn it down?

  Damn it. She slapped her hands against the steering wheel of her little car. Why did she feel she had to choose between having a life like her mother’s or one like her aunt’s?

  And why was this a hard choice? A few months ago, she wouldn’t have hesitated. Her bags would have been packed in no time, and she’d have been looking for places to live in New York City before her aunt’s flight touched down in Chicago.

  But these past few months had changed everything. They’d brought her a little girl to care for and a man who made her heart skip a beat when he walked in the door or took her to his bed. Could she walk away from them to pursue her dream?

  She didn’t know the answer to that question yet, but she did know she had to be honest with Colin about the internship and the possibility she could be leaving. No matter how difficult that conversation would be.

  13

  Colin smiled as he
walked through his front door. The stereo in the living room was playing music, but more appealing was the laughter and chatter coming from the kitchen. His dark-haired girls must be up to something. He was glad work hadn’t kept him late that night, so he’d have some time to spend with them.

  He followed the sound of their voices, noticing the stack of comic books on the dining table and a doll sitting in one of the chairs. His brothers wouldn’t recognize this place as his. It had lost some of its pristine whiteness, and he was okay with that. With Lily around, the house had come to life.

  He chuckled when he reached the kitchen, where the island was covered in art supplies—paper, crayons, pieces of clay, scissors, glue, and what looked like carving implements. Yeah, his brothers would definitely think they’d walked into the wrong house.

  “Dada,” Sofia shrieked from the stool where she sat.

  “Hi, sweetheart.” He went to her and pressed a noisy kiss to her cheek. When he adopted her, he’d had no idea the effect she’d have on him. She gave him a sense of purpose and responsibility. He’d known going in that he had to provide the right kind of home for her. What he hadn’t expected was the joy she brought him.

  Lily smiled at him. She’d also brought him joy, and he longed to give her a hello kiss, too, but they’d been careful not to be too demonstrative in front of Sofia.

  “You’re home a little early,” Lily said.

  “Making up for the long hours earlier this week. Hope I haven’t interrupted your fun.” The kitchen was a mess, but that’s what you got when two artists lived under one roof. He wasn’t complaining. He’d deal with a thousand messes if it meant coming home to these two every night.

  “Not at all,” Lily said. “We were practicing cutting shapes. Sofia has mastered the circle, rectangle, and triangle. I think we’re ready to try something more complicated.”

  “Like a hexagon,” he suggested, taking a seat next to Sofia and studying the various shapes cut from brightly colored paper.

  “I was thinking a house. I traced one for Sofia. Why don’t you help her cut it out?” Lily proposed, handing him a pair of children’s scissors. Sofia already had a pair in her little hand.

  “I’ll try. If I can…” He adjusted the scissors, trying to get his big fingers through the loops on the handle. Sofia giggled at his awkward attempts.

  “Like this, Dada,” she said and demonstrated her grip on the scissors.

  “Maybe we should let Daddy have a bigger pair.” Laughter filled Lily’s voice before she handed him adult scissors along with a piece of pink construction paper. The house sketched on it was much like his from the front, tidy and symmetrical. He helped Sofia hold the paper so she could take the first snip.

  “I’ll cut out some flowers to decorate it,” Lily said.

  “Do I need flowers?” He had orderly shrubs and pruned trees in his front yard. He’d had a landscape architect design and plant the yard, but he maintained it himself.

  “It would be nice,” she said. “A little color, texture, shape to soften the lines. Maybe give some fragrance. I think something pink would be perfect.” Lily exchanged a knowing smile with Sofia.

  They were ganging up on him, and he’d never been happier. If they wanted flowers in the front yard, he’d plant flowers for them… after some research about what would grow best and what kind of care the blooms would need. He didn’t go into anything haphazardly. That quality was what made him resist Lily at first, since she wasn’t what he was looking for. And maybe he should have continued to resist, but his life was richer for having her in it.

  Sofia chatted as they cut out the house, telling him about her day playing with Austin and Aunt Carolyn. When the house was finished, Sofia arranged the flowers on it and began sticking them down with a glue stick. There were yellow flowers on the home’s windows and a giant purple one on the front door. He didn’t comment, but he’d try to make sure the real landscaping was a little more subtle.

  “Something baking?” he asked Lily when he heard the tick of the oven running.

  “You could say that.” She shot him a smile.

  “What is it?” he asked. He could see something through the oven window, but it wasn’t a loaf of bread or anything else he cared to eat. “Why is there a creature in the oven?”

  “It’s an animal that Sofia and I shaped out of clay a little while ago. Mostly Sofia. It needs to bake so we can paint it tomorrow.”

  He got off his stool and walked closer, peering into the oven. A bizarre-looking thing was stretched out on a cookie sheet. It appeared to have four limbs and a head… and that might be a tail. Other than that, he couldn’t identify it.

  “Looks to be a new species.” He turned to Lily and Sofia, keeping his face neutral.

  “I gave Sofia artistic license to create as she pleased. Isn’t it beautiful?” Lily asked him, sliding her eyes to Sofia as if to say, Praise the creation and your daughter.

  “I’d call it a magnificent creature. Tell me about what colors you’ll paint it.” He directed the last to Sofia, who launched into a description of colors he could barely follow—but she was happy. And that was what mattered.

  Lily placed the pieces Sofia had cut out into an oversized art portfolio while Colin gathered up the other supplies and dumped them into the bin marked “Sofia’s Art.” He’d put Sofia to bed a few minutes ago after a quick dinner of turkey sandwiches and fruit. She knew she needed to broach the subject of the internship with him, but she was reluctant to break the atmosphere of… of what? Happiness? Comfort? Love? She couldn’t say, but she had to be fair to him and let him know she was considering leaving them. Throughout the day, she’d gone back and forth between wanting to leap at the opportunity and wanting nothing more than to continue playing house with Colin and Sofia.

  “We need to talk,” she forced herself to say when they’d finished cleaning up the kitchen.

  “We do,” he agreed, reaching for her hand. “I’ve been putting it off, but I don’t want to do that anymore.”

  She managed a small smile, knowing they had very different topics in mind. Her guess was that he wanted to talk about deepening their relationship, while she was contemplating ending it so she could pursue her dream. She’d never promised him forever. She’d been clear about that… but that wasn’t going to make the words any easier to say.

  He drew her to him. “A kiss first.”

  She went into his arms, willing to lose herself in his long, deep kiss. Lily put everything he meant to her in it, hoping he felt it, as she feared this kiss might be their last. When it ended, she was reluctant to let go, resting her head on his shoulder as his hands smoothed her hair. She wanted to stay like that forever, but the next minutes would change things between them.

  Finally, knowing that she couldn’t hide anymore, she pushed back and met his eyes. “Let me go first,” she said for fear he’d tell her he wanted to take their relationship to the next level. She didn’t want him to say the words when hers were so different. “I had lunch with my aunt Maddie this afternoon.”

  “Did you enjoy it?” he asked, studying her face. Could he already see trouble coming?

  “I did. She’s always so full of life,” she answered. “I love that about her.”

  “So what’s the problem?” His analyst brain was running risk calculations. She could almost see it.

  “She told me about an opportunity to work with a comic book company as an intern,” she said. “In New York City.”

  Until she finished the sentence, he looked hopeful for her. When her words made it clear that the job meant she’d have to leave him behind, she saw a ripple cross his face. What was it? Annoyance? Disappointment? She didn’t have time to identify it before his face hardened into an unreadable mask. His arms dropped from around her, and he took a step back.

  “Colin,” she whispered without knowing what words would follow his name, but he cut her off by turning away from her. He snatched up a stack of catalogs from the counter and slowly walked t
o the recycling bin. His back was rigid, shoulders squared, an outward sign that he was closing himself off from her, throwing up barricades between them.

  God, she hated to hurt him, but she’d made no promises about their future. She’d been honest about this being a temporary job. But it was impossible to separate the job from how she felt about Colin and Sofia. Their connection felt anything but temporary… which didn’t mean she could give up on her passion.

  “Have you decided to take it?” he asked when he returned and faced her, his expression impassive.

  “I’m not sure.” She spoke slowly, formulating her thoughts. “It’s the best prospect I could ever hope for, and I’m really grateful to my aunt for making it possible for me to pursue my dream.” She stumbled to a stop. Colin wasn’t making it easy for her to say what she was feeling. “A few months ago, I would have leaped at it, but you and Sofia have come to mean so much to me. I care for you both. You’re important to me.” She was struggling to get this right… and failing, based on the unfathomable look Colin pinned her with. The only emotion she could see was a flicker in his blue eyes, reminding her of the hottest part of a flame. A flame that she was extinguishing with every word. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do.”

  “You have to do what you think is best for you,” he said, his tone politely firm, as if asking someone to step out of his way on the street.

  Despite the fact that she’d started this conversation and was the one potentially leaving him, she was hurt by his attitude. Did he feel no inclination to ask her to stay? What did she mean to him? “I have three weeks to decide if I’m going to pursue the position,” she said, unsure of how to move forward.

  “Let me know your plans as soon as possible. I’ll need to find a replacement nanny,” he said and left the room without a word or touch. The contrast with the Colin who made love to her at night or who stole a kiss around the house couldn’t be starker.